i’ve never seen that flag before. it’s now clear that my laptop loves america. he’s gonna climb a mountain, sew a flag, and fly on an eagle.
sometimes when i don’t get any emails, texts, or phone calls for a while, i think the rapture has come. and everyone was taken except me. and it’s annoying because:
-i don’t believe in the rapture, why is it always in my head?
-there’s no way all of my friends would go and i’d be left here
but then i think about how i could just walk down to the grocery store and take all the cheez-it and i get kind of excited.
I’d like to say that I want to keep my last name for professional reasons, but really it’s just because I don’t want to be the first to present in all my classes. Andres? No, thanks. I’ll stay near the end of the alphabet.
at some point in college, i told my best friend that sleeping with socks on is white trash. actually, i think i said that only hillbillies do it. i have no idea why i said it, i had likely been drinking, but i am convinced that i heard it from my dad (who is (kind of) from the south and says things like “warsh my hands”) but my mom said no way he said it.
i was confident that the little bit of trivia had been forgotten, but louisa decided to bring it out of retirement when she visited her husband’s family over the holidays. she told me it was okay since none of them wear socks to bed but my question is WHO IS GOING TO ADMIT TO IT AFTER YOU TELL A STORY LIKE THAT.
i maybe watched jim varney movies a lot when i was little. especially his family album movie. and billy boogie is my favorite.
Agent Jack Meower
